You don't work, you don't eat

Lately I feel like one of those depression-era guys who go down to the docks every morning, hoping that there will be some work available that day so I can bring some cabbage home for supper...
No, it's not that bad, but this period of waiting for classes to start has been full of various odd jobs that I've picked up as a result of meeting random people in the city. So far, I've done the voice recording for an answering service at a translation company (if you call this company, you'll hear my mellifluous voice saying, "If you know your party's extension, please press 800," etc.), proof-reading a long term paper on venture capitalism in China, and writing an upcoming restaurant review for a website targeting foreign students in Nanjing. In addition to all that, I've been working every week at an English club for adults, facilitating discussions. That job is my favorite. The club members specifically request controversial discussion topics, so I think I'm going to learn a lot from them in the coming months. I asked what kind of topics they want to discuss, and one guy said, "We want to talk about things that will make our hearts run fast." I am SO going to get in trouble for this. I swore when I came to China that I would avoid getting into dangerous waters (I assiduously avoid such topics in this blog, in case you haven't noticed--believe me, there is a lot that I wish I could say in these pages...) Last night we talked about gay marriage. I'm still trying to shy away from the Big D and the Three T's (you can guess what those are).
My classes start on Monday, so I won't be seeking out as many odd jobs, because there's a lot on my plate right now: my Chinese classes, VIA work, GRE preparations, grad school applications, and part-time jobs to put cabbage on the table. Aiyo...

As compensation, the goats' family members will receive a complimentary upgrade to business class on their next flight

This just in from our news desk in Nepal:
Those who read last year's blog might recall that back in May I got stranded in Kathmandu for 3 extra days, missing work (but was I really "missing" it?) because Nepal Airline's fleet of two vintage 757's was grounded by technical problems. Apparently the airline has finally, after several months, discovered the solution to these enduring mechanical mishaps...

NAC sacrifices goats to fix technical snag

KATHMANDU, Sept 3 - Nepal Airlines Corporation (NAC) failed to rid itself of the recurring technical problem in its Boeing-757 aircraft, despite its engineering department's untiring efforts.

But believe it or not, Chief of NAC engineering department, PBS Kansakar found the root cause of the problem in his dream last night: God was angry as the corporation had not appeased him by sacrificing goats.

Then, the corporation Sunday decided to worship Lord Bhairavnath, and sacrificed two goats-- one black and another white-so that all would be well with its aircraft.

The sacrifice was offered at NAC's hanger at the Tribhuvan International Airport (TIA) at around 3:45 pm. NAC top bosses, including Managing Director Gautam Das Shrestha were present to offer worship and goat blood to the deity, said an NAC official. "The decision to sacrifice was made after Kansakar consulted with the top management this morning."

The NAC aircraft whose flights had often been cancelled was again grounded last night after its two attempted flights to Hong Kong failed due to repetition of the problem in the anti-ice device.

The House of Intelligent

On Sunday my friend Pan Wen invited us to go to General Mountain, one of Nanjing's scenic spots. It's not very far out of the city, but I was still surprised by the feeling of relief that washed over me to see trees, hills and green space...and I've only been in the city for a little over a month! I can tell I'm going to have to plan little outings to the countryside now and then to keep my head straight...
General Mountain, like many scenic spots I've been to in China, is an interesting mix of the old and the new. A 12th-century Song Dynasty fort rises above a man-made pond on which you can paddle around in a plastic boat shaped like a duck. Or, as we did, hire a bamboo raft and a couple of poles. Will was a good sport; he and Pan Wen struggled to maneuver the raft around, sweating in the 90+ degree heat, while I sat like a queen under a "sunbrella" at the rear of the craft, holding Pan Wen's terrified six-year-old daughter. Good times.
The most interesting part of General Mountain was the House of Intelligent, an old farmhouse that was used as a re-education site during the Cultural Revolution. Students and young intellectuals were sent here to learn about the simple life (General Mountain was just a small village then--no plastic duck-boats yet). The house is tiny and austere, with a well for pumping water, some vegetable plots, and a large collection of propaganda paintings on the wall.
I find it really interesting that these revolution-era sites are the only places in China that I get a real visceral sense of human history. That sounds odd to write, because clearly China has one of the longest histories of so-called civilization, and I'm not sure how to really convey what I mean. When I see the older sites, I often feel like I'm in a museum, even when I'm standing in an actual courtyard mansion or ancient military fort. I don't get the goose-bumpy feeling that sometimes overcomes me at historical sites in other places--like a crumbling castle in Scotland or a civil war battlefield--that feeling as if I was walking among ghosts. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that so much of the ancient history here was systematically wiped out of the living memory. Or maybe it's just that ancient history here is so "foreign" to me that I can't experience any kind of emotional connection to it. But at these Cultural Revolution sites, I can feel it. And it's creepy! Getting goose-bumps just writing about it...
But creepiness aside, it was a lovely day among the cedars and the willow trees. The sky was blue(ish) and it was a much-appreciated afternoon of respite from the honking, roaring, beeping, snorting city.

 

 

Je ne regrette rien

I'm helping the administration office at my university by proofreading the "Handbook for Newcomers," and I must share this gem from Appendix II: Conditions for Revoking the Scholarship.
Item 6: "Occupying a room or a bed in the dormitory without permission and not feeling regret even after being persuaded by the college."

bamboo-zled

The scaffolding is coming down! Here's a picture of the bamboo used in the scaffolding around my apartment. Apparently bamboo has incredible tensile strengh--you can hear it creaking when people walk on it, but a single trunk of bamboo is strong enough to support the weight of several grown men. Amazing.
I'm looking forward to the scaffolding coming down so I can finally open the curtains during the day. But once the re-painting and construction is done, I will miss the floating population of workers that has set up camp in the neighborhood. They've set up tarps in the alley for sleeping at night. During the day, the street is filled with the sound of workers, painting, hauling stuff, pulling down the scaffolding, and breaking huge piles of rocks with pick-axes for what I can only presume is a re-paving project.
After sundown, the whole street turns into one gigantic pajama party! Whole families are living under the tarps, and at night (when the heat is still oppressive) everyone strips down to their skivvies and hangs out, playing cards or mah jongg or just sitting around talking. It's a really festive atmosphere, and it's going to seem awfully quiet around here once everyone's gone.
I don't mean to come across as glib. I realize that a lifestyle of hard labor is not something to idealize or treat lightly. That's the kind of attitude that was largely responsible for the, um, events of the 1960's here in China...
Sorry for the long delay between postings. Things have been pretty crazy around here, finishing up the orientation and lining up part-time teaching and tutoring gigs for myself. I have a great job now at an English Coffee Corner--basically I get paid to facilitate discussion with a bunch of really interesting adult advanced English-speakers. I think I'm going to learn a lot from them this year. More about that soon.
My classes will start in a couple of weeks. Can't wait to get back into learning Chinese!

 

 

birthday bash

Oh, how quickly they turn on you...
You invite your friends over to celebrate the 28th anniversary of your birth. You show them a video of your students in Hunan Province throwing cake at each other, as is the custom at birthday parties in China. Together you prepare a lovely dinner, and they present you with a beautiful gift of a photo collage, and a delicious chocolate mousse cake. You blow out the candles...and the next thing you know, you are smacked in the face with gobs of chocolately goo! A cake fight ensues. Ah, I love being a grown-up!
It was possibly the first time I've had to take a shower in the middle of my own party, but it sure was fun. After we were all cleaned up, we hit the town and sampled some of Nanjing's night life.
I will get them back, this I promise.

before  after  birthday photo collage 

One panda's crap, another man's treasure?

Beijing is gearing up for the 2008 Olympics, and in the midst of the queue-ing campaigns and anti-spitting campaigns, here we have it: the campaign to trick silly tourists into buying Olympic souvenirs that are literally pieces of shit.


China seeks profit from panda poo
Mon Jul 30, 11:35 PM ET

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese wildlife research centre has come up with a novel idea to profit from panda poo -- make Olympic souvenirs out of it.

Researchers at the centre in Chengdu, capital of mountainous Sichuan province, had sculpted photo frames, bookmarks, fans and panda statues out of the 300 tonnes of the stuff produced by 60 giant pandas each year, state media said on Tuesday.

Jing Shimin, assistant to the director of the base, proudly declared that the souvenirs would be relatively odour-free.

"They don't smell too bad because 70 percent of the dung is just remains of the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest," he told Xinhua news agency.

"We used to spend at least 6,000 yuan (390 pounds) a month to get rid of the droppings, but now they can prove lucrative as half of them will be sold as souvenirs."

Not wishing to miss out on Olympic-inspired profits, the base is currently working on moulding the poop into statues of athletic pandas performing various Olympic sports to sell as 2008 Olympic Games souvenirs.

A Thai zoo already sells multicoloured paper made from the excrement of its two resident pandas.